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Name: Rex Stetson
Occupation: Masked Avenger Type
Base of Operations: Washington, DC
E-Mail: rexstetson@yahoo.com
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Thursday, November 27, 2003

Rex Drunk on Thanksgiving: Beat this, Democrats!

Today we have witnessed the beginning of the end of the Democratic Party.

Rex has called it. 10 years, no Democratic Party. Gone the way of the Whigs.

It's over. Long without a Raison D'Etre, All arguments and posturing have effectively been defused by the singularly amazing Thanksgiving gesture in Iraq today....



W has fucking beat FDR and Reagan and everyone by actually putting himself in harm's way for Thanksgiving. All drunken Rex has to say is "Holy fucking shit." Can't wait for Howard Dean and John Kerry (Who could have easily spent the holiday with the Troops on some kind of "exploratory fact-finding mission") to spin this as to disparage our President somehow. Economic recovery, tax cuts. Just as Dean has won the Democratic nomination by pure chutzpa and lack of phoniness, Bush has won the has won his reelection tonight. It is done. Re-election. This is a President like none America has ever seen. Though I am the first to say this President is not "perfect"-- John Ashcroft is a particularly bad choice if you want to have a truly magnificent legacy...but he won my heart, and my vote, tonight. And if Rex feels it, then others must. For Rex has a cold, cold heart which can't be warmed by the thin, false, phony pretenses of politican pretenders.

This is geniune, and sincere, and authentic beyond what I expected of a politician.

This matters. Americans get killed every day in Iraq. The president could have sat back pardoning turkeys and pigging out with Haliburton executives, but he decided instead to head into the belly of the beast. Kudos beyond belief to someone I now admire- more so than out of patriotic fervor due to 9-11.

Woo fucking hoo...


Well played, Mr. President. Very poorly played, pretenders to the throne- Senators Kerry and Edwards and Lieberman. What the hell were you doing for Thanksgiving that was so Goddamned iportant as to lose the whole shebang? Falling over each other, stabbing each other in the back for the endorsement for the Grocery Baggers Union or whatever pathetic substitute for authentic public (individual- God forbid-popular-) support?? Ha ha fucking ha! I certainly hope so...

Kudos to one person for actually trying:
Nice try, Senator Hillary Clinton in Afghanistan for Thanksgiving. But why didn't you go to Iraq? Not safe enough. George W. made Afghanistan safe enough for you to campaign in, but not Iraq yet, hmm? Well, maybe next Thankgiving it'll be safe enough...

Why didn't any of you folks who think you could run the Iraq situation better- who want the job- actually go there? Most of you are squabbling over who can get the Iowa State student body to endorse them, or who can hug the fucking weathervane of political trendiness du jour the tightest. Meanwhile the President is carving turkey and serving stuffing for the troops. I was impressed by the political theater of the aircraft carrier landing, but this is genius.

Well Played. Congratulations, Mr. (Two-term) President.


Posted by Rex @ 6:15 PM

Monday, November 24, 2003

Smooth Criminal- Or Michael Scissorhands?

As an Armchair Vigilante, it is my sworn duty to sit back comfortably while passing unsolicited judgement on public figures whom I believe have committed some grave offense to society at large: sometimes this is criminal behavior, sometimes it is just immoral, sometimes it is just bad judgement or a sin of omission. Today, however, I am passing judgement on those who would pass judgement, namely against Michael Jackson- before all the facts are available.

This particular issue really gets to the heart of vigilantism- or at least the armchair variety. So many people are so quick to condemn him. well this Armchair Vigilante is going to reserve judgement. For a while. Read on- if you dare:

As far as the whole scandal goes, I suspect if there's that much smoke, there's probably some fire. The last time someone accused him of molestation, he paid a rumored $20 Million to make the problem go away. Not the type of thing an innocent man does. Also not a smart move- for the same reasons you don't negotiate with terrorists or pay ransoms. It encourages people to shake you down and extort money in exchange for not suing you. But out of all the hundreds and thousands of kids the Jackson helps through his charity work, there have been 2 accusations. I personally think this one seems a little suspect, given that the kids family contacted Larry Feldman, the lawyer behind the $20 Million settlement, well before the police ever became involved.

Time will tell, however. Supposedly there's a lot of evidence against Jackson. Maybe it's a slam dunk open and shut case. But I think people should keep an open mind, and wait until the evidence comes to light. Michael Jackson is obviously an eccentric wierdo, emotionally stunted most likely from his own difficult childhood. I see him as sort of an Edward Scissorhands-type of character: Creative, talented, but emotionally incapable of functioning in a normal adult world. He seems to have difficulty separating fantasy from reality, preferring to live in seclusion, tucked away from normal folks in his fantasy castle. He has a quiet, gentle manner. He even resembles Edward physically: he dresses in vaguely-gothic black clothing, he has a thin, frail appearance and a pale, scarred face.



And like Edward Scissorhands- because of his freakish appearance and unconventional behavior, "normal" people are very quick to assume the worst when allegations are made. All I heard people say during the news reports of his arrest were things like "He's a freak" or "he is so screwed up" or "what a wierdo". Shock at his appearance, mostly.

In Edward Scissorhands, Edward is accused of a crime and examined by a police psychologist, who after noting essentially what I have above about Jackson, declares him harmless:


PSYCHOLOGIST
The years in spent isolation have not equipped
him with the tools necessary to judge right
from wrong. He's had no context. He's been
completely without guidance. Furthermore his
work, the garden sculptures, hair styles, and
so forth. Indicate that he's a highly
imaginative...

OFFICER ALLEN
Character.

PSYCHOLOGIST
It seems clear that his awareness of what we
call reality is radically underdeveloped.

OFFICER ALLEN
But will he be all right out there?

PSYCHOLOGIST
Oh, yeah. He'll be fine.


And that's honestly the vibe I get from this guy. I can't believe he could hurt a fly, I think the fly would win. I can't imagine him being the slightest bit aggressive or predatory. In fairness, maybe it's all an elaborately crafted media persona designed to appear nonthreatening. If that's what he's going for, he would have been far more effective at duping us all had he opted for a more mainstream appearance. Witness your prominent child molester: be it catholic priest or boy scout leader: these guys look normal. That's how the skillful predator operates: they hide and gain people's trust- and you can't pretend to be "normal" by looking and acting like Michael Jackson.

Still, would I let my kid stay over at Neverland unsupervised with a 45-year old man? Of course not- no responsible, "normal" person would. Unless they were looking to make a few million in an out of court settlement...

If Michael Jackson harmed his accuser in some inappropriate and/or illegal way, then he should be punished- and kept away from children. Yes, protecting children and punishing those that harm them is something we all enthusiastically support. Even folks that don't support the death penalty can't wait to give it to some child rapist or murderer.

Don't get me wrong -I think they're right to want that. My point is only that even people who don't have the righteous anger of a moralistic vigilante, suddenly discover their social conscience whenever a child is victimized. They should want it for the rapists and murderers that prey on teenagers and adults too. They really aren't any nicer, people. Still, occasional justice is better than none at all, I suppose.

Maybe Michael Jackson should be in prison, but I suspect that if you had to pigeonhole him, assuming he is guilty- he's probably much closer to being "insane" than "criminal". I think he might have an excellent case for an insanity defense, and think the public would probably be willing to accept that- since it would give them an easy, mainstream way to wrap their minds around this misunderstood, complex, tragic character.

I hope he didn't do it, I really do. But I am willing to accept that there is a good chance he did. I will wait to make up my mind until all the evidence becomes public. Til then I am keeping an open mind, and so should you.



Posted by Rex @ 12:01 PM

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